Today, we stopped at the real Starbucks in the morning. I got a Pumpkin Spice Latte. I could drink that shit all day every day. I love when Drew suggests going to Starbucks. When I got to my building, I called my mom and told her about my heartburn and she is going to pick me up some Zantac. She wants me to keep an eye on it. I haven’t had anything like this before, it is weird.
After I got off the phone with her, I went to go see if Paula was in. I wanted her to see that I was there early. She made a statement about me being early. I told her how the event was, and how much I enjoyed going and working it. I said, that feels like where I am supposed to be. I asked her if she needed any help with the interviews today, and she said, no, but I am to make sure to open the office if Matt is going to be late, and be there until Matt gets there. I said, I can do that, and I gave him my number in case he should be late again, and I can sit in for him.
Geri came into my office, around 10:30am and asked me to come up to her office, and we could work on some things. I was taken back really. She and I talked about my tasks for the rest of the week, and why I didn’t apply for the position. I told her I just wasn’t sure if this was for me or not. I had so much anxiety over it the first week. I told her my reasoning and she understood. She feels like I am doing a wonderful job and would be great at this position, and that I should apply for it. I felt torn when I left the meeting with her. She told me to go talk to Paula and tell her that I want to be considered for the position. I figured to hell with it. Whats the harm in being considered? The fact that I actually good get it and may like it? Or the fact that the summer sucks and I am trying to talk myself out of it. So what stay for a year and apply for something else.
When I went down to talk to Paula, she said, “well we are going to have to discuss this later, is Geri on her way down?” I was like “Yea, I guess she is in her office.” It seems like Paula tries to do more, than her job title. She tries to be the know all and say all. Whatever. I am fucking trying here, but at the same time I really am hoping for another position, or something with special events.
Dejected, and pissed I went back to my office, and hung out in my cave. I started journaling and Jason called from special events. He started out by thanking me for helping with the event, and it was great meeting me. He said, he has been talking me up to people, and saying how I just got right in there, didn’t need any direction, and how I wasn’t afraid to talk to people. He was happy with the job I did. He put my name down on the list of volunteers at Peterson Events Center and is going to keep me in the loop for events that come up. I said, “Now if I continue to help with day time events. You may have to have a conversation with Kristen about me, because they will need to get someone to fill the position at the Music Department. I am sure it wouldn’t be a problem, because you know Kristen, but at the same time I don’t know if you have an opening for me or not, or if it would be like on an as needed basis.” He said, “Yeah, I will keep you in the loop, but if something comes up online, apply for it and I will give you a formal recommendation to that department. You would be so good for events.” I was so glad to hear that, but at the same time what the fuck am I going to do about the Music Department? I am torn. I called Drew after telling my mom what Jason said. Drew was in the locker room at the pool, when I was telling him the story. He didn’t really seem to excited. I think perhaps me looking for a gravitational pull in any direction, gets the best of me, and heightens my expectations. Andrew did end up calling back and we talked it out and I feel much better. Paula wants to talk to me this afternoon, about applying for the position. I have this feeling I would definitely be offered it, if I applied and was interviewed. |
What is holding me back? The summer? Is it the right direction? I am nervous to talk to her. I think I will go at 2:30pm and pop in her office. I am not sure. Tonight, my parents are coming over. They are dropping off the pups. They leave for vacation Friday morning. I am excited to see my pups, but I know it will be a sleepless night. More later.
That evening, my parents did come over, and brought the doggies. I was so glad to see them. I couldn’t wait to spend the weekend with them. I knew it was going to be work though, between them and Andrew. My mom and I left Drew, my dad, and the dogs at home, while we ran out to get the Chinese food. We just literally got home, when they arrived. I didn’t even have time to change out of the clothes that I wore all day!
After dinner, they stayed for awhile before they left to go home. They had a lot of packing to do still. When they left the dogs cried for a good 45 mins, maybe less. They kept going to our front door, and waiting for them to come back. This was going to be the start to a long weekend.
Finally, they calmed down, and we were able to go to bed. Andrew had to sleep on the couch, and I slept upstairs in our bed with the dogs. We kept both fans going upstairs, to drown out the noise of the townhouse community. It still didn’t work. I guess it rained that night, and she kept barking at every little noise.