Oil Change

Today, I took my car in for an oil change. I always go to Valvoline, never had an issue. My family and I have used them for years. They could t get the oil cap off. After a half hour of several attempts with a socket wrench, and 4 employees later still the cap would not come off.The mechanic gave up, and told me to go over to NTB. They would be able to get it off, since they have bigger tools. He instructed me to turn my car on and when I did, oil spewed everywhere. I turned my car off.

The mechanic went up to Sears to get another socket wrench, and has to atleast try to get the cap off, and then replace my oil container, and give me another cap. As I sit here in Valvoline’s airconditioned waiting room,  listening to the hum of the   Pepsi vending machine I wondered are we similar to cars? I knew it’s stupid, but here me out.

We need to get a check up every so often, so we continue to run, and sometimes in our lives our oil lids crack, and we spew oil every where. We need to be repaired and we must clean up the mess we left behind and move on.

Hopefully my car will be done soon. 

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Andrew’s 31st Birthday

Today, we went to the pool until about 2:30-3:00pm. Then we went home, the storm clouds were approaching and they were coming in fast. We went home to get ready for his birthday party tonight. We wanted to get there a little earlier, grab a table, and order some beers and the pretzel bites. We thought they were going to be packed since it is a Saturday.

When we got there, we got a table in the mess hall, and we had a huge long table for just us and our friends and family. We had some time together alone before people started to arrive. We also had the same server as two years ago, who waited on us, which was so cool! She remembered us, as well.
My parents arrived, and brought Drew his gift and two birthday cards. One was funny, and the other was a sweet son-in-law card. My dad bought him a picture framed with two tickets to the Steelers game, a picture of Franco Harris, and a program from the game. Drew loved it. Something for his man cave, then his parents arrived, and Zach came. After Zach arrived, Ben and Tricia showed up. Drew was on his 3rd beer at that point.

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After we had dinner, and some drinks Ben and Tricia showed up, as my parents and his parents were leaving. We all went outside to the Beer Garden. Andrew at this point was on his 4th huge pint of beer. I knew this was going to be a long night. When we were in the Beer garden, Anthony and Dylan arrived for drink, and left. Then Patrick, Zach’s brother showed up, and he had a drink with us as well. It was nice to see most of Andrew’s friends show up.

At around 12:30am, it was time to get the birthday boy home. I made sure I had his cards, he had already put the gift my dad got him in the truck, so that was safe, now to get this man home, who keeps saying it is his name day; too many episodes of Game of Thrones! On the way home, I am driving. I reach over to touch Drew’s hand. We are a few feet away from almost being home and getting on the Thorn Run Exit. I had to pull over on 376, and he got out of the car, and managed to get vomit on the door, before getting out of the car, and vomiting up the rest. I felt bad, but I wasn’t sure what to do. I looked in the mirror, there were no cars coming. It was about 2am. It would be my luck if a cop pulled up right now, at this very moment. I got out of the car, and rubbed his back, he had vomit and snot dripping from him. I felt so bad for him, but at the same time, he did this to himself. I helped him in the back seat. I had nothing to give him to wipe his face, because we didn’t have any napkins or papertowels (I keep a roll in the car with me now though). I finally got us home, and got him inside. He kept apologizing and I felt so bad for him. I got him wiped up and he started crying. He was so drunk. He told me how much he loved me and how sorry he was that he got like this, and that he let me down. I said that he didn’t and it was okay, I forgive him, but he can’t get like this anymore.  He agreed. I got him in the shower, and I got random clothes on, so I could go outside and clean the car after I got him settled.
Once he was in bed, I went outside and cleaned the vomit out of the car. Surprisingly, it did not smell and thank God it did not, because then I would have vomited. It looked white like oatmeal. It didn’t take me long, then I went back inside, dressed in some pjs and climbed into bed with my lush husband.

My First Day at Pitt

I rode the bus in with Drew, and we got coffee at the Cathedral, and then we parted ways. I went to Craig Hall, and he went to work. When I got to orientation, I had to find my two forms of ID I was so flustered and nervous. I could not find my wristlet at all in my tote. The woman said, I need your two forms of ID, by Wednesday, or they will take you off the assignment. I said, “I know I have it, please just give me a second.” I was nervous enough. I finally found my wristlet and handed her the two forms of ID. She got the rest of my I9 completed, and then I was able to get my IDs back and go into orientation. The room was full of people, who were starting that day. I filled out my paperwork, listened to an informational PowerPoint presentation, and then we were able to leave to go to our buildings. I was so excited.

When I walked out of Craig Hall, it was pouring down rain. I took out my umbrella, and put my ear phones in so Siri could give me directions to the Katz Graduate School of Business. Andrew was working and there really was no one to ask how to get to my destination.  I finally made it to the building. I was drenched. The receptionist smiled and welcomed me. I said, I probably should put my high heels on now, huh? She said, “yes” and smiled. I put on my heels, and took the elevator up to the third floor. When I got there, I met Amy (the hr lady, on the phone) Sue, (The receptionist), and Nicole (the executive assistant to the Dean). Nicole took me around the office, and introduced me to everyone. I put my lunch in the fridge and my stuff in a vacant office (my temporary office).  I sat down with Nicole at her desk, she had me take notes about the job, and compile a manual for the position. I was on information overload.

At lunchtime, we met up with Drew for lunch at Noodles and Company. I was so glad to see him. After lunch, we went back to the office, and she told me how hard the job is that she has, and no one is going to be able to pick it up, just like that. She has been doing it for three years. This conversation made me even more nervous. I was so scared. I am not sure how I feel about this, was I misplaced again?

4:30pm, came around so quickly, and I was finally able to go meet Drew at the Cathedral. We were walking together to get the bus at the bus stop. He asked me how my first day went, and if I was going to like it? I told him my concerns, but he just kept saying baby, you got this. I know you can handle it. I have faith in you. It felt so good to hear, but I think I needed more than just faith to handle this position

 

Alicia’s 2nd Wedding the Christian Wedding.

Today, Alicia wanted us to be at the church at 9am for a wedding that does not start until 4pm. Autumn brought us all doughnuts, and we got ready in the smallest room ever, it was the only room that had air-conditioning. When she arrived, I finally got the chance to talk to her. She told me how she felts as though she did not get the pictures she wanted, because I was in the way. I said well that is how I was placed by the photographer and if you didn’t like something than you should have said something, or told me to move, or told the photographer you didn’t like that formation. She didn’t have anything to say. She asked me to not be so rude today, like yesterday. I said, “I wasn’t trying to be rude, that is my personality, when things are out of control, and you do not have someone there to control it, then don’t complain about how it is being controlled, or how people are reacting. It was a mess yesterday.” She said,”I didn’t even know what was going on, or what was happening.” I said, “So you turn your back on your flower girl’s mom, when she asks you instead of trying to find a solution. You just walk away, and leave it for someone else to handle, then complain about how it is handled, that is not the right way to do things.” She said, “Well I did that because I just didn’t know, so I didn’t give an answer.” I said, “It was rude, Alicia, and I am not going to apologize for something that you didn’t handle correctly, and left for me, but then want to complain about how I handle.” She said, “Promise you will be nicer today.” I said, ”Alicia, I am not a mean person. I do have a personality though, and I am different from you, just because I do not handle things like you do; does not mean I am wrong. I am not going to be apologizing for being me, and I am not apologizing that you did not get the picture you wanted, because you did not say anything, but we can move on from this point, and you will have a beautiful day that you deserve.” She hugged me and said that means a lot to her, but we left it at that, and had a good day.

Honestly, so much has changed for us since our friendship began, and we are not the same children that grew up together. I am thankful for who I am and the woman I have become, and if she doesn’t like it, then I don’t care. I have waited so long to tell her those things in that conversation, too long.

Alicia took my hand right before I went down the aisle. She said, “I love you.” I said, “I love you, and you look beautiful.” She squeezed my hand and looked into my eyes and I smiled and so did she. I walked down the aisle. Every three steps, I stopped and smiled like she wanted.

The ceremony was beautiful. The candles and the bouquets worked perfectly. I cried a little when I saw her walk down the aisle. She really truly deserves a beautiful day, and we gave that to her, all of us girls. After the ceremony, we all got into the limo, and it was off to the reception. We drank in the limo, and took pictures, and videos. I poured the champagne, and sat next to the bride and groom. When we got to the Lamont, we bustled Alicia’s dress in the bathroom, and it only took 5 mins, then it was time to head down to the ballroom. We were announced, and they cut the cake, had their first dance, and then we went to the head table. I was so hungry and nervous about my speech. I asked the DJ if he could play foolish games in the background when I gave him the cue. He said, “If he can find it, he will. Well I looked to the DJ when I wanted the song to play, and he hit a button and there it was our friendship song. I didn’t plan my speech, but it turned out amazingly! Alicia cried and held my hand. I was so happy she approved.

After dinner, I went over to my husband, and sat on his lap put my converse on. I just could not wait to be with him, and dance with him. Throughout the night, people left after dinner, because it took so long for the dancing to begin. Alicia lost an hour of her reception due to the fireworks. Pittsburgh’s Biennial celebration was that night as well.  The photographer was so upset and over the wedding and he was the same one that we used. Andrew kept getting him drinks throughout the night. I said, “Hey you are my date and to stop hanging out with him!  We danced the legendary dance. Alicia chose our wedding song as the legendary dance, which was nice of her. After the bouquet toss and the garter toss. It was time to go home. I was ready for bed and ready to get back to my life. Thank God this wedding was over with!

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I never want to be another Matron of honor again. This was enough for me. Our friendship is forever changed because of it. We haven’t spoken since her wedding. I wish her the best, but I cannot be friends with someone that cannot appreciate or respect the woman I have become, while we all have to respect the woman she has become without question. Everyone has to cater to Alicia. I can’t have a friendship like that. I miss her everyday and I miss our friendship, and what we used to be, but people change for the good and the bad it is what it is. I wish her happiness and love, and hopefully we will cross paths again, but if we don’t I am at peace with it.

Alicia’s Indian Wedding (1st one)

In the morning, when I woke up; I hardly slept at all. I did not want my hair to get knotted up. We had to be at the temple at 7am. Andrew took me to the temple, and stayed wit with me, while we all got ready. Regis and Heather were the first to show up at the Temple.
We all got ready where the ceremony was going to be. While the girls were getting a dressed, all the men had to leave the room. As Alicia was getting ready, people were trying to come up the elevator to get into the room, so they could take their seats for the ceremony. Alicia told me to tell everyone that they had to stay downstairs, because the ceremony didn’t start yet. It was the most chaotic thing I have ever been a part of ever. There was no organization. People were everywhere. They had no clue how this works, there were no signs there, the wedding planner had to leave to go to a different wedding, and didn’t stay for the entire time, so she couldn’t tell everyone the plan, if there is one. Supposedly, the ceremony would start outside, and everyone follows the horse, and that the groom rides in a horse. I was losing my patience with Alicia, and everyone there. I couldn’t wait to get these two days over with.

Once the ceremony started, we were all outside, on the temple stairs dancing to the music, as the horse approached the temple stairs, Sambit was on the horse. The moment brought tears to his eyes, and I felt happy for them, but at the same time pissed off at Alicia. I was over her bullshit, and her stuck up holier than now attitude. She kept telling me to be nicer, and to calm down. She put me in an awkward position, and if she did not like something, or wanted something done, you should have had this shit under control. It was no wonder why everyone is flustered and I am not the only one.  I put a smile on for the photographer. I really wanted to just leave.

After a few pictures with the horse, it was time to go inside and start the ceremony. We were about to walk down the aisle, but did not know where to sit. Alicia never told us where to go after we go down the aisle. When we asked her, she wanted us to stand to the side. So I asked one of the groomsmen if we could all just stand, she asked me to handle it, and the bride wants us to stand on either side, and the Indian groomsmen said, “Well it is tradition to sit, so whatever tradition is.” I said, “I understand tradition, but it is what the bride wants.” He said, “Ok, but it is tradition to sit, so we are going to sit.” I said, “Fine.” I walked away and went back to tell the bridesmaids to sit in the first row of seats. There was one Indian man standing in the middle of the aisle, as I was walking down. John the photographer told the man to sit down and get out of the way. I tried not to laugh. He did get my picture.
After we sat down, the ceremony started, and it was all chanting, smoke, fire, fruit sacrificing, and we were able to throw rice at them. The ceremony was very involved, and relaxed. It was a watered down Indian Wedding. Alicia and Sambit walked around the fire seven times and repeated their vows. It was interesting.  When the ceremony was over, we took pictures, and then ate a lite lunch, so lite that they ran out of food and plates for the guests. It was a cluster fuck. I laughed on the inside, and I was just so over all of this wedding bullshit.

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Andrew and I made the first exit out of there that we could. The plan was to meet at the United Methodist Church in the Northside at 4pm for the rehearsal for the next wedding that is to take place tomorrow. I went with Andrew to the chiropractor, changed out of my Indian sari and into the dress for the rehearsal dinner. I was so ready for this to end. Once we left Dr. Bailey’s, we went to Starbucks to kill some time, then to the Northside. We made it there at 4pm, and there was no one there. This is the time we were supposed to all meet at the church. I was beginning to notice a pattern.

We walked into the church, and met with the wedding coordinator, and then I got a Facebook message from Alicia saying, that they will be there at 5 or 5:30pm, that they got held up taking pictures, and said you know how it goes. I said, “No I don’t, because I was organized and planned, and things were on time because I had commitments to be somewhere, and it affects everyone else.” I hung up on her, and waited for her to get there.

When people arrived, I told them that she won’t be here until about 5:30pm, or 6pm. She sent me a Facebook message. The flower girl and ring bearer’s mom was frustrated with her as well. She said, no one is checking facebook today, so how would we know? I said, well that is how we, the bridesmaids have been communicating with each other, so that is how I know. She took her kids to the humane society to kill sometime, and then came back for the rehearsal.

alicias-rehearsal-3When Alicia finally got there, I could ring her neck. She gathered us all to the front of the church, and the reverend kicked off the rehearsal. He placed us into formation at the altar for Alicia to see how we looked up there, and if she liked it or not, and the Princess liked it. She and I desperately needed to talk, but I do not know if we were going to get the chance or not. I wanted to tell her how pissed off I was at her, and I am sure she was going to have a few things to say to me. When we were at the altar, the plan was for us to have both candles and our bouquets. I said, “How is that going to work?” she said, “You could ask nicely instead of judging it and turning your face up at the idea.” I said, “Well I am not I just think it needs to be addressed, and I am saying the same thing everyone else is thinking.” The pastor probably could sense the tension, and said, “Well you and the best man probably won’t have to light a candle anyway, because we are down a bridesmaid, but she will be here tomorrow.” Alicia wanted us all to have candles. so the pastor said I could set our bouquets down on the table next to me, when the candle portion is over, I can pick up the flowers again. This was so fucking stupid, really. Nothing is ever simple. The church was hot as hell too.

After running through the ceremony a few times, we were able to leave and meet everyone at Peter’s place in Bridgeville for the rehearsal dinner. Finally it was time for a beer, and food. Andrew and I were so tired, and so over the day. When we got to Peter’s, Alicia and Sambit were the last to arrive of course, and she said at the wedding that there will be no beer bottles she said, its tacky. Drew and I just looked at each other and drank our beer, which were in bottles already. She said, “Yes you two.” Nothing like being signaled out and being mortified. Who was this woman?  She gave us all necklaces for being in the wedding and wanted us to wear them. She forgot two necklaces. Alicia made a little speech, before she gave out the gifts. I just smiled and tried not to laugh at how silly this all was. I was so over this all.

 

Alicia’s Wedding Prep

Today, I went to Leanne’s to get my nails and toes done for Alicia’s wedding. She was also going to put in my hair extensions, so I could wear them tomorrow for the Indian wedding. This was the calm before the storm that is Alicia’s wedding; Andrew was going to meet me at Leanne’s after he got off the bus. I love my hair when my extensions are in, but how was I going to sleep tonight?

July 4th Weekend in Erie, PA

Today, I finished packing up the car, cleaned the house, ruined my fourth of July nails, but hey we were going to Erie! Drew got out of work an hour early, helped me finish packing the last bit of things, and he packed a bag for his stuff.

When we got to Erie, they were all outside drinking. We joined in the fun and go the weekend started.  We drank by the fire and hung out with his family, brother, and his brother’s fiancee, Megan. We had a good time relaxing, but it was early to bed. We were all tired from traveling. Tommy, Megan, and Drew worked earlier in the day, as well.

July 2, 2016:  Tobutters-selfie-2day, when everyone woke up we got showered, dressed, and went to a few different wineries, and distilleries. We tried so many different wines, took pictures, had lunch, and just hung out. It was so relaxing to get away and just have a day where we did not have to be anywhere at any time.

When we got home, we all took a nap. When Andrew and I woke up, his parents went to the grocery store to get dinner for tonight; Tommy and Megan were napping upstairs, as well. For some reason we all were so tired.

 

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After an amazing dinner, we went to the casino. Andrew and I did not really have the money to gamble, but it was nice to go and watch everyone.

July 3rd: Today, we woke up, and went to Erie beach for a bit. Megan met us there after she went running. Tommy came along, and seemed a little miserable, but we all managed to have a good few hours at the beach. I got to wear my new pink floppy hat. I felt so glamorous.

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When we got back from the beach, we all were showered, and dressed, and then Megan’s family came over. We finally got to meet her stepmom, her dad, stepsister, and their children. I think Megan and Tommy were ready for them to leave, when it was time.  That night, we had a fire going, played corn hole, drank some more, and set off fireworks. It was a great way to end such a relaxing weekend.

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July 4th: Today, we left Erie around 10am, and went back to Moon Township. We brought our stuff inside, and then got ready to go to my parents’ for the 4th of July. We all went to Crafton Celebrates for dinner, and for funnel cake. It rained all day there, so the ground was wet and soggy. We did not really want to go, but it was nice to see my parents on the fourth.
After dinner, we went back to my parents’, and I laid on the couch with Andrew and my dogs. I love when I get to see them. We were so tired from our weekend; we ate and drank so much. We stayed to watch fire works with them on the front porch. It was nice, but we were ready to go home.